What's Really Holding You Back
I recently coached an entrepreneur who had been procrastinating for months on taking action to grow her business.
As I listened to her give reasons, “I’m so busy … there are too many choices … I just don’t have the energy” — I could hear the self-doubt underneath.
👉 So I asked her: “What do you really want?”
She paused, took a deep breath, and said: “I want to be seen as a master and expert in my industry.”
Me: “And how do you become a master at anything?”
Her: “By doing it. Learning. Taking action.”
Me: “Then why aren’t you doing it, learning and taking action?”
Her: “Because I’m terrified of being seen starting small.”
I leaned in: “What’s terrifying about being seen starting small?”
Her: “What if I make a mistake? Or don’t know the answer? Or…”
Me: “Then others might judge you?”
Her: (eyes wide) “Wow. Yes. That’s it. I’m SO afraid of being judged.”
Ah, fear. There you are.
This can happen to anyone. You have a dream or want to step into your full potential … but fear sneaks in and convinces you to stall. Play small. Stay hidden.
She thought she just needed more motivation or willpower. She thought it was a "procrastination problem."
Nope.
What she really needed was self-awareness — to see that her real obstacle wasn’t time, energy, options or willpower. It was her fear of judgment.
That pesky Inner Judge (we all have one) was whispering doubts, keeping her frozen in fear mode.
But once she saw it for what it was — fear-based thinking — I helped her make a mindset shift.
💡 Her higher self said worrying about others’ opinions should never cost her the dream she deeply wanted.
And with that new clarity, she pulled out her calendar and blocked off an entire day to take action in her business the very next week.
Why this matters for YOU:
Chances are, you’ve been there too. You delay, second-guess yourself or feel disconnected from your bigger dreams.
You think you’re “lazy,” “not motivated” or “not good enough.”
When really ...
You’re stuck in the doubt → delay → division trap.
Here’s how it works:
Doubt: You doubt yourself and say, “I’m not sure I’ll be good at this.” You unknowingly build a story that supports your fear, “What if I look stupid? What will people think?” Maybe even catastrophize a bit, "I'll be a complete failure and never get another chance again!"
Delay: You delay taking action. Again. And again. You justify delaying with, “I’ll just think about it some more ...” or "Well, I’ve waited this long, a little longer won’t hurt ...” (Weeks turn into months or even years …)
Division: You’ve become divided from your dream, integrity, vision or people you care about – and lost connection to that inner fire that drives you forward. You begin to feel frustrated, unfulfilled or defeated. Resentment towards others can fester or apathy can set in.
Don’t worry – there’s a mindset approach to help you climb out of the pit of self-doubt and inaction.
It is (drumroll please) …
✨ The Antidote: the Competence → Confidence → Connection cycle.
Competence: Take action. Start small. Learn. Do it again. Get better. If needed, seek out a mentor or training. Building skills = building competence.
Confidence: Competence builds confidence. You believe in yourself and your ability to figure things out, and that increased confidence motivates you to take on more challenges, and build further competence. The growth loop continues.
Connection: Your growth fuels momentum and more action, which reconnects you back to your vision, goals, values, people you care about, and that inner fire that fuels you. You're connected back to your "why."
As you enter the Competence – Confidence – Connection cycle, remember this:
Mastery in any skill or field is built one step at a time. No black belt was earned overnight — it took thousands of repetitions. Thousands of hours. Mistakes and choosing to go at it again. And again.
No master gets to that level by seeking perfection. Instead, they do their best, and when mistakes happen, they take the lesson, iterate and move on.
That black belt on a karate master exists only because the master had the courage to take the very first step … and then the next, and the next.
You can do the same.
We have 3.5 months left of 2025. That’s plenty of time to make progress.
So, ask yourself:
👉 What do you want to reconnect to right now? Your dream? A new skill? More revenue? Joy? Love?
And what’s really in your way? (Hint: It’s probably you.)
Because here’s the truth:
Every master started as a beginner.
Every person who unlocked their full potential had to risk being seen before they felt 100% “ready.”
Every thriving relationship required moments of humility — choosing love over ego.
Don’t let fear of others' opinions stop you. Don’t wait for perfect conditions. Don’t delay your dream.
Begin this week. Start small. Momentum will meet you.
The world needs you to step up and create.
Your family needs you present and intentional.
Your team needs you to lead with courage and clarity.
Let’s GO!
Christine Hockman is a PQ Mindset Coach® and Certified High performance Coach® who helps leaders build the mental strength and daily habits necessary to succeed, show up at their best, and respond to challenges with curiosity, resilience, confidence and presence.
